I feel extremely blessed to have been given academic training in a field that gave me techniques that I can use during the administration of therapy as well as in my parenting efforts.\u00a0 I have compiled the top five effective parenting techniques I have acquired through my experiences as a Speech Language Pathologist.<\/p>\n
While completing my graduate work I attended a class in which the professor was teaching us about positive praise.\u00a0 During the lecture one of my classmates asked the question \u201cWhat if there is nothing to give praise for \u2013 what if the child is not doing anything correct?\u201d\u00a0 The professor\u2019s answer was swift and clear \u201cThere is always something you can give positive praise about, and if you can\u2019t find it \u2013 you simply aren\u2019t looking hard enough.\u201d\u00a0 As a speech language pathologist I think back to the professor\u2019s answer whenever I am working with a \u201cdifficult child\u201d \u2013 but I really put it to the test during my second year of experience.\u00a0\u00a0 I was assigned to deliver services at a specific elementary school that also housed what was referred to as \u201cthe behavior unit\u201d.\u00a0 I provided speech and language services to approximately 75% of the children in the class over the next two years before the class was moved to another school.\u00a0 The behavior unit is a special class that is made up of all the children from the school district that require a more restrictive environment because they are unsafe to the individuals in their regular education classrooms.\u00a0 Most of the children in the class were placed there as a result of severe physical harm they had caused to their peers or teachers, or extremely inappropriate behavior they had presented.\u00a0\u00a0 At the initiation of services to the students in this classroom, I regret to say that I was apprehensive, nervous, and a little frustrated that I was going to have to learn to deal with these children.\u00a0 Looking back now \u2013 I am grateful for the experiences I had with these children as they taught me more about behavior management and looking for the positive than any other of my therapy experiences.\u00a0 I learned to love the children and found great joy in the progress they were able to make.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t always easy to work with these children \u2013 as days could often be filled with threats of violence, abusive language, and extreme persistence to avoid any and all work that was presented.\u00a0 Sometimes the only thing I could find to praise was the way the child was sitting in their seat or they way they produced a sentence without a curse word.\u00a0 However, I found that if I focused on the child\u2019s strengths \u2013 (even if they were trying at great lengths to hide any strengths they had) it helped make the child feel safe, appreciated, and open to trusting me and developing a relationship with me.\u00a0 I truly believe that if you look for the positive in anyone \u2013 you will find it.\u00a0 And if you take the time to let them know what you see\u00a0 – they will be affected positively because of it.<\/p>\n
2. \u00a0Communicate the Positive:<\/span><\/p>\n A great deal of research has been done regarding the power of positive praise.\u00a0 Research was conducted to see how different outcomes correlated with different ratios of positive to negative feedback in a variety of settings (i.e. marriage, workplace, parenting, teaching, etc.).\u00a0 The research revealed that the \u201csweet spot\u201d; or the ratio that resulted with the most successful outcome was 5:1 (5 positive comments to every 1 negative comment).\u00a0 \u00a0This is especially difficult while administering speech therapy, as it often revolves around \u201cfixing\u201d clients\u2019 speech and language errors.\u00a0 If you are not careful you can find yourself providing an overwhelming amount of negative comments (\u201cDon\u2019t do that\u2026\u201d or \u201cFix that\u201d).\u00a0 However, the more you make an effort to be aware of providing positive praise \u2013 the easier it becomes.\u00a0 It truly does make a difference in the lives of children, especially in the lives of children who suffer with communication disorders, as they don\u2019t often feel successful.\u00a0 Make an extra effort to praise them for their efforts (communication wise or otherwise) and I promise you will feel the reward when you see the satisfaction in your child\u2019s face as they realize they have accomplished something great!<\/p>\n 3. \u00a0Be Specific:<\/span><\/p>\n So now that we have discussed looking for the positive, and communicating the positive, \u2013 we will delve into even more detail regarding specific<\/span> positive praise.\u00a0 All children love to hear \u201cgreat job\u201d, \u201cway to go\u201d, and \u201ckeep up the good work\u201d.\u00a0 However, that doesn\u2019t really give them any real information about what they did that was great \u2013 and what they need to continue to do to be successful.\u00a0 Your children are learning and growing constantly.\u00a0 They are experimenting with their boundaries and abilities continuously.\u00a0 It is up to you to provide them with as much errorless learning as possible.\u00a0 Errorless learning is extremely important \u2013 especially for children who have difficulty learning new things.\u00a0 It is your job as a parent\/teacher\/etc. to set them up for the greatest amount of success.\u00a0 One of the best ways to do this is to provide SPECIFIC positive praise.\u00a0 For example, when praising your child \u2013 exchange a generic form of praise (i.e. \u201cgood job\u201d) with \u201cI love the way you\u2026\u201d or \u201cI watched how well you \u2026 and it made me really happy\u201d.\u00a0 The \u201c\u2026\u201d needs to be filled with as much specific information as possible and can be used when helping your child with his\/her speech and language, with their behavior, or with any skill you are trying to teach.\u00a0 I use specific positive praise every day, with my students, my clients, my own children, and even my own husband – and I have found this technique to be very rewarding and useful.\u00a0 For example I might say to my husband \u201cYou are a great dad.\u00a0 I watched how you patiently taught Brock how to kick the ball, and I saw how much he loved spending that time with you.\u201d\u00a0 This not only helps my husband feel good about his parenting moment, but it also helps me to clarify and focus on his strengths, which ultimately helps strengthen our relationship and our motivation to be the best parents we can be.\u00a0 When used with children, specific positive praise produces an empowering teaching moment \u2013 in which the child doesn\u2019t really even notice they are being taught, and they come out of it feeling good about their attempts and their success and are inherently motivated to continue working to be successful.<\/p>\n Although being specific is helpful when giving positive praise \u2013 it is also very helpful when giving constructive criticism.\u00a0 In fact, I believe being specific and genuine is what differentiates constructive criticism from destructive (and ineffective) criticism.\u00a0 This is helpful to keep in mind when your child behaves inappropriately, or when they fail to demonstrate a certain skill correctly.\u00a0 In order for you to teach them and correct their errors effectively it is highly important to give as much specific information as possible.\u00a0 Before instituting a consequence for inappropriate behavior you must let your child know exactly what they did that was unacceptable.\u00a0 Otherwise, they are much more likely to be confused about why they are being punished and repeat the inappropriate behavior.\u00a0 Then you also need to show them specifically what behavior would have been acceptable.\u00a0 For example, while working with a child who suffers from asperger\u2019s disorder I learned that I had to be extremely specific in order to teach him appropriate social skills.\u00a0 If I told him to \u201cbe nice\u201d to his classmates I noticed little improvement in his outward behavior.\u00a0 If I discussed what it means to \u201cbe nice\u201d, and I showed him exactly what that looked like – he was able to understand and demonstrate those skills so much easier.\u00a0 I was amazed at the amount of progress he made quickly once those skills were explicitly taught.\u00a0 But please be clear that being specific does not always mean being lengthy or necessarily even detailed.\u00a0 It is most effective to explain yourself as simply and as specifically as possible.\u00a0 This could consist of imitating the inappropriate behavior followed by a \u201cno-no\u201d.\u00a0 Imitations and gestures are good for young children or children who have communication difficulties as they might not understand the language you would be inclined to use in your attempt to be specific. \u00a0My old supervisor used to observe me giving therapy.\u00a0 If she ever caught me giving a command (especially to a child that was severely delayed) she would always tell me \u2013 show him what that looks like.\u00a0 For example, I couldn\u2019t ever get away with saying \u201cuse soft hands\u201d and leave it at that.\u00a0 I had to instantly demonstrate what soft hands looked like and then give immediate and specific praise if the child used soft hands.\u00a0 This again teaches errorless learning.<\/p>\n 4. \u00a0Be precise:<\/span><\/p>\n It is extremely important that children understand and know their boundaries.\u00a0 Again this is a part of setting up your child for success.\u00a0 I have found \u2018precision commands\u2019 to be the most affective form of boundary setting and consequence follow through.\u00a0 When using precision commands you are setting up an errorless learning system for your child when it comes to expectations for behavior \u2013 on both their part and your part. \u00a0Click Here<\/a> to learn more about directing and enforcing precision commands. I love this technique for multiple reasons.\u00a0 It allows the child to know what is expected of them very clearly.\u00a0 It sets a very precise pattern which can be learned by all children \u2013 even children with severe learning difficulties or very young children.\u00a0 It helps children feel secure as they know what to expect from you.\u00a0 It provides a framework in which a child can receive the first command and will be able to accurately foresee the outcome based on their individual choices.\u00a0 This helps children feel in control and greatly enforces cause and effect and personal responsibility.\u00a0 Although, the technique is quite simple \u2013 there are a few very important things to keep in mind.\u00a0 DO NOT issue a precision command if you are not willing to follow through with the entire procedure.\u00a0 If you present the commands but do not follow through on the consequences, all you have done is made empty threats and taught your child that what you say does not really mean anything.\u00a0 It is also important not to overuse precision commands \u2013 they do not need to be used all day long to get your child to comply with your every request.\u00a0 Precision commands are meant to be used only in more difficult situations.\u00a0 Also \u2013 going back to the first few steps \u2013 when the child does comply with your command, please remember to give them SPECIFIC PRAISE for doing so.<\/p>\n 5. \u00a0Be a Teacher:<\/span><\/p>\n As mentioned previously multiple times \u2013 errorless learning is one of the most effective things you can provide as a parent and teacher.\u00a0 There is no exact way to do this (which is funny seeing how I just got finished talking about the importance of precision and specificity).\u00a0 Just keep in mind that when teaching a new skill, whether it be potty training, acceptable behavior in public, or how to read, your teaching will be the most effective if the process your child undergoes to learn it is as errorless as possible.\u00a0 This can be accomplished in a number of ways.\u00a0 I believe that errorless learning can only be taught using a hierarchy of support.\u00a0 For example when providing articulation therapy I want to avoid allowing the child to produce an error in their speech \u2013 which further promotes inaccurate motor planning and processing.\u00a0 However, not every child can be successful with each speech sound initially and they need to be taught.\u00a0 This is done through support.\u00a0 My support might consist of verbal modeling, tactile prompting, visual cueing, or explicit verbal descriptions (to name a few).\u00a0 Basically I provide the child with whatever amount of support necessary for him\/her to be successful.\u00a0 I then \u201ctip-toe\u201d around the hierarchy \u2013 providing more or less support as necessary.\u00a0 There are always two goals I have when trying to teach a child a new skill.\u00a0 I ultimately want them to be successful\u00a0 (meaning producing the sound or target correctly) and independent (meaning producing the sound without any outside modeling, prompting, or cueing).\u00a0 In order for the child to be successful initially it typically requires a great deal of support.\u00a0 The next step is to make the child successful independently \u2013 which can only occur if the prompting, cueing, and modeling is faded as soon as possible (without sacrificing the child\u2019s accuracy and success).\u00a0 \u00a0I think the execution of this process is critical and can be the difference between a mediocre and a great teaching\/learning experience.\u00a0 A great teacher knows how to provide the correct amount of support in order to create success and then fade it as quickly as possible in order to create independence with the skill.\u00a0 When teaching a new skill keep in mind that in order to be specific, precise, and simple you need to provide explicit directions, clear modeling, and direct cueing, and then fade these cues as soon as possible.\u00a0 Please realize that there is not a magic recipe for how to teach things successfully \u2013 being able to move up and down through a hierarchy of support takes a great amount of focus, flexibility, creativity, and patience.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I feel extremely blessed to have been given academic training in a field that gave me techniques that I can use during the administration of therapy as well as in my parenting efforts.\u00a0 I have compiled the top five effective parenting techniques I have acquired through my experiences as a Speech Language Pathologist. Look for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":85,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[11,12,14,15,27,29,30,31,36],"class_list":["post-89","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-child","tag-communication","tag-education","tag-family","tag-learning","tag-parenting-techniques","tag-precision-commands","tag-specific-positive-praise","tag-speech-language-pathology"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/speechchick.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/blogpic7.jpg?fit=431%2C616&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/speechchick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/speechchick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/speechchick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/speechchick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/speechchick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=89"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/speechchick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":648,"href":"https:\/\/speechchick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89\/revisions\/648"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/speechchick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/85"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/speechchick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=89"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/speechchick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=89"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/speechchick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=89"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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